…the grapefruit is winning.
- Space Dog, Under The Pink (1994)
I’m eating peanut butter. I shouldn’t be. Definitely shouldn’t be. Even though it’s the super healthy crunchy peanut butter made of nothing but peanuts and salt. It’s too many calories. And I have to win this ‘Biggest Loser’ weight loss challenge. Not that there’s prizes or money involved; I just like to win things. And it would be nice to be thin. I am not doing all this yoga for nothing.
I got rid of the junk in the fridge. I mean my junk anyway. My roommates still have boxes and boxes of chocolate from India (they swear it’s better than the chocolate here. It’s mostly Kit Kat bars. Indian Kit Kat bars). But my shelf is spinach - so much spinach! - and apples and pears and yes, even a grapefruit.
I’m ignoring the box of my fave candy bars that just came in the mail. It was a gift. I feel bad ignoring it. It’s wasteful. But it’s junk food. Bad for me. If it was a box of apples I’d be all over it, and let’s be honest, normally I’d have eaten at least three candy bars by now (the box has been in my apartment roughly ten minutes), but nope. Biggest Loser Challenge. Tuesday is weigh-in day.
Wednesday though, ohhhh Wednesday is cheat day! Or cheat dinner anyway. I’ll still behave for lunch and breakfast (meaning I’ll have coffee and protein shakes). But dinner? Sauteed spinach, tater tots, and cheesecake. And a goddam cocktail.
New year, new you? I don’t believe in that. But I do believe in winning.
